don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
