when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
