it was like his penis was on wheels.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
