can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
