Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
