You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
