Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize
