Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize