but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
