Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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