I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
