By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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