The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
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