my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
