But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
