you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
