youre lurking in front of me
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
