Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
