He told me they were just razor bumps!
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
