Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
