he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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