now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize