we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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