I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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