I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
