I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
