After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
