it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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