You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize
