I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
someone owes me an orgasm
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
