Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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