Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
