He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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