there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize