is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
