Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I understand Curling. That high.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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