I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
