im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
