I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
did i just pee glitter
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
