He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
