I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
