I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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