Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
