when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
