I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
