32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
