how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize