Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
