We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
