Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
