She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
where does the pee come out of this thing
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
