i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
