my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
