it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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