I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
