Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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