i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
