I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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