my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
